Some days I’ll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window and say to myself, “Eek! What’s happened to you?”
Then I’ll further criticize myself, “Geez, your eyes look puffy today, your skin looks dull, your haircut sucks, your teeth are yellowing, you look fat in this outfit…Ugh!” You name it and I’ll say it to myself in this self-deprecating moment.
In my experience, these momentary self judgmental or self-doubting appearance critiques are common. I’ve seen my clients do it, friends and family do it…I’ve done it to myself. I think everyone doesn’t appreciate the way they look from time to time – even renowned beauties, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lopez and Angela Jolie. It’s true!
The trick is to not let the moment turn into to something longer – wasting your time and energy – and insidiously spreading into other areas of your life, ultimately affecting your self-confidence which you and I both know means everything. We deserve to feel good about ourselves in every moment!
To get your groove back and rapidly remedy these negative thoughts, here is a checklist of five questions – a “Yes!” answer is where you will find your culprit:
- Are you frustrated with something else in your life – relationships or goals? I notice time and again when I am feeling bad about the way I look, I’ve got other stuff going on in my life (that have nothing to do with my appearance) where I feel out of control and, so I begin to nitpick myself to feel in control (of at least something). Putting ourselves down is so easy to do, isn’t it?! It’s important to find the root cause, so you can take the necessary corrective steps.
- Have you been ignoring your self-care? Perhaps life’s going good, but I’ve just been super busy and some of my self-rejuvenating routines have been sidelined. It’s time to make room again in my schedule for consistent exercise, healthy eating, basic beauty treatments, fun times with family and friends, and a great book.
- Have you been comparing yourself to others? Every time I compare myself, whether it’s to her lifestyle, business acumen or physical beauty, I set myself up for failure – immediately feeling ugly and a tsunami of self-doubt ensues. I know the end result and, yet at times, especially when I am feeling vulnerable, I still do it. It’s a lose-lose behavior. I’m placing a barrier between me and a potential ally. I miss out and she misses out on a fulfilling relationship – personal and/or professional. When I find myself falling into the comparison trap, I try to become conscious of my defeatist thoughts, abruptly stopping them and reminding myself of my value and how unique all of us are.
- Could you benefit from a fashion or beauty update? Maybe my eyes really are swollen today, because I was up late working on a project I’m passionate about or maybe my skin really is dull, because I’ve been too busy to regularly exfoliate or maybe my haircut really does suck and I need a new hairstyle…maybe I need to schedule a teeth cleaning or maybe I’ve learned that this style of pants are not flattering on my body-type. Perhaps it’s just that simple! This is one of the best things about fashion and beauty, all it takes is a few steps to get myself out of a funk and feeling confident again.
- Do you let yourself feel grateful for who you are? Probably not in that moment. Honestly answering this question, always gives me a better perspective. I’ve found self-acceptance to be a continuous learning process even in terms of beauty – to appreciate the bump on my nose or my short legs or my wide forehead. The truth is, there is only one me and if I am not going to appreciate me for being me, then how can I expect others to? Dove’s Real Beauty Sketches campaign is a powerful reminder to not only be appreciative, but to truly understand that our perceptions of our physical beauty are often way off mark and we are much more beautiful than we think. Watching this campaign is a quick way to get your groove back.
Do you have some quick fixes to getting your groove back when you are not happy with the way you look? Please share your tips!
Image credit: Bittersweet Colours. Graphics by Kristina Moore for Corporate Fashionista.